A lot of the times when people meet me, they think I’m amazing and they start wanting to hang out with me and be in my life, but then this strange thing happens where they just become uninterested or they become bored or I in some kind of way, become an inconvenience to their life and they just disappear and never to be seen or heard from again, this tends to make me very frustrated and it puts me in a bad place emotionally and I end up saying things like: well who did you expect to be hangin out with, Dwane Johnson or brad Pitt, this ain’t no fairytale lady, that’s not how life works. Lol And I know that doesn’t help or makes the woman feel better about me but damn !!! I mean I have flaws and limitations and I physically need help with certain things like getting into a car, transferring in and out of my wheelchair and so forth, in reality I did not choose this lifestyle, It’s not my fault, being disabled is extremely difficult and painful especially when you live in a abled body world, it is what it is, it’s hard but it’s not the end of the world
I believe it’s been about 5 years now since I stopped drinking, and although it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made, I find my anxiety and depression at a all time high, I’m lot more aware and I find myself feeling more afraid than I ever have in my life, that’s the downside to sobriety, the upside is that I can think clearly and I’m able to succeed a lot more and just focus on my mental and physical wellbeing, the point is that, there’s really not a day that goes by where I don’t think about having a drink and going to visit my old drinking pals, but I really enjoy having a job and having a clear mind and trying to build other people up, always stop and take a deep breath and tell yourself it’s gonna be ok and just keep building your life the way you want to
Always check in with your friends
When I first started working at Walmart as a customer host out in the garden center another co worker would be out there too, we started talkin and eventually became friends, he would always make sure I had breaks and a lunch break, overtime he got asked to move over to the other entrance so we couldn’t really talk as much but he would still sneak his way back over to the garden center to make sure I was ok and still made sure I got my breaks and lunch, one day he had told me about a previous job he had and that he was thinking about going back, naturally in my head I’m like WHAT !!! Lol yeah whatever, while at the same time I’m like I hope not, we continue being friends and talked all the time for weeks maybe more, than one day he says: hey man so my other job called me and I got the green light to go back, I mean of course I told him that’s awesome and congrats but honestly it sucked big time because everyone else just ignored me and just pretended I wasn’t there, I realized it was happening again just like when I was in school, people I bonded with always leaving, but it was what it was and I told myself I needed to except it and move on, so that was that, he left and I continued being the no leg Walmart wheelchair dude, months went by, started to kinda think to myself, man I wonder how he’s doing these days, well yesterday evening he FaceTimed me to check in and see how I was doing, we talked for couple hours I think, but man I just thought it was really nice and cool that he did that, he always had my back and I will forever be grateful, always check in with your friends no matter how long it’s been or where else life might take you.
Goooood afternoon friends and followers, it’s that time of year again where it’s getting colder and wetter and unfortunately me and this time of year do not get along due to chronic pain, but I definitely love the holidays being right around the corner!!! I’d love to hear what you like and don’t like about the holiday season
Sometimes in life, you have to know when it’s time to show the people that you care about, the friendship exit and not because you no longer care about them or love ‘em but because you might start to think they could be heading towards a dark path that can have a devastating outcome, and when you try and pull them back, they might get upset with you and make you feel like you’re not good enough or cool enough or make you feel guilty about things they did for you and so now they think you owe them, but at the end of the day, you have to look out for yourself and protect yourself and say: look I’ll always love and cherish the memories we had but I’ve been down there and it’s cold, dark and dangerous and I just don’t live that life anymore, I wish you well but it’s time to say goodbye for now, if I hear you yelling for me, I’ll be there with a rope to pull you out, every choice you make will dictate how your life will go, please be very careful and always listen to your inner self and what your mind and body are telling you, love you all, please be safe this holiday season
A really great guy came in to my work today, it took me a minute to realize who it was, once I did, it blew me away, It almost made me emotional, I hadn’t seen him in years, he worked at a children’s therapy unit where I use to go daily for physical therapy when I was really young, he would make all kinds of adaptive equipment and different things to help me get around better, this man has no idea how many kid’s lives he helped make better especially mine, it was really good seeing him and I’m glad he’s doing well
Always love yourself and chase your dreams
One of the most rewarding things in life is loving, respecting and believing in ourselves and chasing our dreams, unfortunately at the same time some people also might be trying to destroy that drive, that’s why it’s so important for our mental health to make sure we surround ourselves with positive and like minded people that will love and support us no matter what, if we can do that, I believe that’s what’s gonna make our communities and our country strong again
Monthly nature hikes going great!!
I’ve been co-leading some pretty cool accessible hikes lately. We started in April with a wheelchair hike at Wildwood park, it is a very cool park that makes you feel like you are in the wilderness surrounded by cool plants, trees and lots of things to learn. There are a lot of really cool trails to go on. I met a lot of great people and it was great learning about the outdoors and about nature in general.
Our Hike in May was at the Foothills trail. Which was very peaceful with lots to look at like the rivers and bridges. I brought my dog Max along and we ended up going all the way back to Puyallup and Max was exhausted but grateful.
In early June we went to Point Defiance park and there was cool things to see over there like the beautiful landscapes surrounding the park. This park also included bridges along with various trails and also has access to the point defiance Zoo , as well as access to a beach called Owen beach witch was just renovated to be more accessible except the beach itself.
I’m really looking forward to our next event on July 2nd which will include accessible fishing on Les Davis pier in Tacoma from 3-5 pm. Whether you are an experienced angler or new to fishing, join us for a great day of fishing at our favorite local spot to learn the basics of the rod and reel with our seasoned instructors. We’ll show you how to follow laws and tradition to fish local rivers, foothill lakes, and the Salish Sea. Target fish include trout, salmon, steelhead, bass, surf perch, flounder, sole, dogfish shark, lingcod, and crab when in season.
Wolf Camp will share all the fishing gear we’ve gathered over the years. $15 contributions go to the Conservation Luminaries program, and a Fishing license is also required which you can purchase at https://fishhunt.dfw.wa.gov/
You Don’t have to Change Who You Are. Just Change the Way You Do It.
That’s right, you don’t have to change who you are. To become the person you really want to be, you just have to change the way you do things.
Start by changing your outlook on life. Sometimes I hear people being self-destructive and saying things like “well, that’s just who I am” but you know, if what you’re doing is self-destructive, then it’s not really who you are. We don’t wake up and say to ourselves, “I want to be unhappy today” but we do often wake up and set no intention at all – that’s when life just happens to us and we get stuck in negative patterns.
If you’re feeling stuck and worn out, sad or angry, there’s only one thing you can change at first: what you intend to do that day. Set one positive intention every morning, or if you forget, start over in the afternoon.
I know how hard it is to even try when we’re feeling bad, but all I can tell you is what I did: try things until you finally find something that will lift me out of that headspace. It was hard at first to find outlets that lifted me up every time, but you have to try a bunch of stuff until you realize what it is that works for you. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Before I figured out what would get me out of my negative headspace, I used to self medicate by drinking every day. When I finally sobered up for a few days, I saw the world like I hadn’t in years, and one of the things I started doing was make videos to share my story. I found that it lifted me and other people up at the same time, and since then I’ve found other things that do the same thing, and now I’m happy a lot more than I’m not.
Some of the other things I hear people say are things like “I don’t like where I’m living.” Ok, maybe that’s the problem and maybe it isn’t, so it’s time to find out. If you don’t like wet Washington weather, then start putting plans in place to move next winter and see how you like it somewhere else.
If a job isn’t making you satisfied, then spend a half-hour every night looking for jobs in places where you feel you belong. If you’re like me and no one seems like they will hire you, do what I did and spend some time every week starting your own thing. It may or may not bring in the big bucks, but doing something I enjoy has been way more satisfying than what seemed like nothing at all.
Maybe you are burned out trying to please other people all the time. If it makes you happy, great, there’s nothing better than that, but if it’s burning you out, you do have to change the way you do it. People want to please other people so they tend to do what their friends or family wants them to do and it’s hard because those people care about you. People don’t want see that disappointment in their faces but at some point you got to say that this is my life and you have to make yourself happy because that should come first not other people’s expectations.
Feeling like you’re not a successful person? Again, you don’t have to “change who you are,” you just have to change what you’re doing. As humans we tend to always want more because we think that the more we have the happier we will be. We drown in wanting more and find ourselves working ourselves to death to get more. Especially if we see someone having a good time like smiling, being happy we almost want to join them because we want what that other person has. I often see people complaining about things when they have a house, have a partner, and are able to pay their bills so what I do is have them turn around and look at their house, look at their car and see the things that they own so they can see their success.
Wondering why other people seem successful? Well, a lot of people put on a fake facade for social media like putting “happily retired” on their social media accounts when they aren’t happy just retired. Social media has completely taken over our lives. Don’t get me wrong but social media has done a lot for people including myself. However what we have done is isolated ourselves and are confined to our devices. It’s got so bad where we don’t even know how to socialize anymore face to face. We got so comfortable talking behind screens, everything has gone virtual. It’s apart of living though to go outside and get moving that’s what life is or what it should be.
Down on Covid? Most people will never get pass this Covid stuff and some people was already negative before the pandemic and they just use Covid for something to blame. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to have bad days and doesn’t mean you’re not going to be tired but there’s a difference between being tired and unhappy. When I was younger I really wanted to get an Xbox 360 so I would be able to play Halo. Of course my Father told me that I need to save up for it instead of pouting and complaining about it I started doing chores around the house and getting paid for it. I was getting so impatient and I wanted it, I had to have it but you know what a month later I had what I wanted.
There are probably a hundred examples of changing how you do things. Go for it, and you’ll live into the person you really are.
Let’s Talk About Local Neighborhood Issues
Join me at 6 pm Thursday for my next “Any Question” online gathering. This month, let’s talk about local issues! What’s up in your neighborhood? Click here to RSVP and click here for the zoom link.
Local neighborhood issues really get people worked up on social media nowadays, and it’s understandable and Facebook groups make it easy to share concerns affecting everyday life. Here in my home town of Puyallup, it’s always seemed like a tight community to me. We are hard working people, and when unfortunate things happen, people talk to each other about it because we feel like family. We want to be there for each other even when we disagree. Bottom line is we really care about our town and the people in it.
Crime & Safety
When a big crime happens it really affects the community and people talk. When the news stations come in from Seattle and Tacoma to report on these crimes, it’s a common occurrence to hear, “Hey, I know that guy” or “I always go by where that happened.” Or when somebody just hits another person’s mailbox, people we are posting about it to see if someone recognizes a car or got a pic of the license plate.
Car thefts and break-ins are pretty huge nowadays, and the community reacts as it should. In many cases, people use their vehicles for work, so when tools and stereos and other valuable items get taken, it’s a terrible thing because things aren’t cheap and people have to make a living.
The recent increase in crime makes the community feel unsafe, and when victims spend unnecessary amounts of time and money recovering from incidents, it’s draining. We seem to be living in desperate times again, people are getting depressed about it, and those are dangerous combinations. People are overwhelmed by life, and in turn, end up making bad choices so people on the other end of that become victimized, too. There isn’t a whole lot of compassion and empathy going on either. People are just upset.
Homelessness & Cost of Living
Homelessness is a huge huge problem here and probably everywhere. There are a lot of encampments throughout our county. It is a sad situation, and people with houses see the homeless as an inconvenience and get disgusted. We have to remember that being homeless in Washington is tough because the elements here are terrible.
Everyone knows there are a lot of reasons people become homeless. A big one is the high cost of living around here. With low salaries and high prices it’s gets tough. There are so many homeless people, and not enough resources to help. The way the government has handled it is an obvious failure. They clear out the camps and then the homeless people just make a camp elsewhere and the cycle continues. If I it weren’t for my family and the social safety net set up to support my physical disabilities, I could’ve been homeless pitching a tent somewhere or worse.
It was already getting tougher and tougher for people on fixed incomes and working by the hour, and then gas prices were raised, just adding more stress to the average citizen. How do you expect people to manage while coming out of pandemic at the same time? It’s just hard all around. Unless we figure something out that works for everyone, we are going to see more homeless people, more depressed people and more struggling people.
Congested Roads & Walkable Streets
A lot of people complain about our horrible traffic, because it is horrible. They also complain a lot about speeding on neighborhood streets, and that really hits home for me as a pedestrian. I know people are trying to avoid backups on the main roads and trying to get to work, home, appointments etc. but we have steep hills with curves and driveways everywhere and it’s just dangerous. A problem I face all the time is when drivers make erratic turns and don’t pay attention to who or what is on the side of their car, especially near the freeways where drivers speed down off-ramps to get into town.
Sidewalks and crosswalks are really important for a neighborhood feel, especially to get people out of cars, exercising and talking to each other. Sidewalks and crosswalks are also critical so people who don’t drive cars can get around safely, especially where there’s a lot of traffic. I can show you every old sidewalk that’s been here for decades, rotting due to the elements and needing to be replaced.
Our county seat of Tacoma is even worse. Just last month I had to drive my wheelchair into traffic to go around buckling spots in the sidewalk that my chair couldn’t handle. I know it takes tax money, but there should be an expedited schedule for when sidewalks should get replaced. Or back in my neighborhood – it was built before sidewalks were required, and they are needed, but I’ve been lucky that there aren’t any through-streets so not much traffic compared to other neighborhoods.
Accessibility & Discrimination
I think there are a lot of things in the Puyallup area that show significant improvement as far as accessibility and discrimination are concerned. However, it can be better. For instance, for the disabled community, we need to have more ramps, and automatic doors to businesses. Some businesses follow the existing regulations and some don’t. One business in town where my family likes go is very popular and a nice place to eat. They have two staircases and one elevator that has been there for years and years. That elevator is old and sometimes does not work. I have been stuck in it and told staff about it but they just don’t take me seriously.
Another bar downtown where I used to go has a step into it and I told them to please take care of it since it’s a violation of ADA regulations. I don’t know if anybody has had similar issues but it is hard for me to speak up very much because people start thinking “there’s Matt trying to cause problems again.” I really would love to be a part of the process of change, but it’s everyone’s responsibility to say something. I have lived here my whole life so I care about the safety of my community. Granted a lot of the buildings are old and it costs a lot to improve, but a little ramp won’t hurt, and replacing an elevator will only make it more safe and attractive.
I can’t speak for what people who experience discrimination based on things like race and sex go through in our town, but the friend who is helping write this blog post happens to be Black so I asked him what things are like nowadays in town after the George Floyd era. Here’s what he said:
“Living in Puyallup as a Black teen has been quite the experience. When I first got enrolled in school coming from Parkland I immediately noticed a shocking difference. My old high school in Parkland was full of diversity and culture: people took pride in who they were.
“Compare that to my school in Puyallup where the social norm was for everybody to be the same, and shunning out unique personalities, cultures and ideologies. Speaking to other BIPOC people in Puyallup, it’s the same story. We feel left out, we feel silenced, we feel excluded. It feels like the community does not have our back and it shows in some of the things that have happened.
“However, new leaders are speaking up, like having the City of Puyallup and School Board recognize Black History Month despite it being almost 100 years overdue. We also saw the first ever Juneteenth celebration in Puyallup last year and the first community Black History Month celebration this year. Things are improving, but ‘will it stick’ is the true question.” – Malachi Fournillier
What do you think about your neighborhood?
There are a lot of other issues we’re facing right now, but we’re also lucky to have what we do in our town. Parks for one, and many of them are even accessible. I mean, just compare our life to what’s happening in Ukraine or in developing countries. Whether you are feeling good or bad about your neighborhood, I want to hear about it. Post your thoughts in the comments, or join me this Thursday, March 31, 2022 for my next “Any Question” online gathering so we can talk about it all. Click here to RSVP and click here for the zoom link.
